Aliyah Shipping (Satirical)

Aliyah Shipping: Expectation vs. Reality

The Organized Oleh

"I've planned everything! My lift will arrive on time, customs will smile at my paperwork, and Ill be unpacked by Shabbat."

ï Up to three duty-free shipments within three vears of Aliyah.

ï Bring only personal-use ftems: furniture, appliances, household goods.

ï No VAT or customs duty (if declared correcity and-approved)

ï One reduced-tax car allowed if owned abroad for ft. months.

ï Documentation required. Aliyah certificate. Teudat Zehut; packing list, bill of lading, power of attorney, and passport.

ï Customs inspections may occur randomly, storage fees begin after .. 5-7 days.

ï Total import taxes (for non-exemot goods): **17 **% VAT+ 12-40 % custons du,

1 Your container docks, in Ashdod.

2 Customs reviews your perfect file.

3 You smile, pay nothing extra, and unpack caimly.

4 Your furniture fits perfectly.

5 You tell everyone how "easy" Aliyah was

._.. Reality:

"My fridge has mote stamps than my passport, and I just paid rent for my sefa to live in Ashdad."

ï Customs officer says. "We just need one more form. "You give it.They ask for a capy. You give it They

want it in Hebrow. You cry.

ï "Duty-free" means "maybe free, maybe taxed, we'll decide after offee'.'

ï Port storage fees accrue faster than compound interest.

ï Random inspection always targets your most embarrassing box (the one labeled "personal stuff-

do not open").

ï "Bonded warehouse" sounds safe; It's actually customs jail.

ï "Handling fee" is neither small nor optional.

ï Everything costs more than you budgeted. except your sanity. Mich is free - because it's gone.

�� Common Phrases You'll Hear:

✓ It's fine, come back tomorrow.

✓ It's just a small VAT.

✓ Yes, you get three shipmets... If·

the moon aligns with Misrad lfakliita.

✓ "Of course it's duty-free, but you still pay handling; processing, and emotional damage fees'.'

Updated on: 01/02/2026

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